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Dear Kaylee,

This month has been a roller coaster for you.  On the day you hit 32 months, Daddy and I dropped you off at Grandma’s house and went to the hospital to get your baby brother.  Shortly after that, you suddenly had to wrap your little head around not being the center of the universe anymore.  The first week and a half were all right, because Daddy stayed home from work and we made a point to give you lots of attention.  But once he went back to work and it was just you, me and Robbie at home together all the time, it became clear to you that Mommy didn’t have enough arms to give you and your brother all the attention you both wanted, and you freaked out on me for a few days – a few hellish, awful days.  I seriously briefly considered selling you to the gypsies. Just as I began to worry that your personality shift was permanent and I became certain you were going to be the death of my sanity, you started returning to your old self.   I was so relieved I could have cried.  (That may have been post-pregnancy hormones.)  Since then, things have been much better.

We’ve made a big change regarding your sleeping habits this month: We kicked you out of our room.  You’d been sleeping in our bed right up until your brother was born, and we couldn’t bear to kick you out immediately after we brought him home.  And so all four of us slept in the same bed together, and never have I been more grateful to have a king-sized bed.  But eventually there came a point where I couldn’t take being punched in the face at 3 a.m. anymore, because I was also getting up every other hour to tend to your brother.  It took some convincing, but we now have you going to bed in your own room every night, with the understanding that if you wake up during the night and call us to come get you, you are allowed to spend the rest of the night with us.  Some nights you join us kind of early, and sometimes you stay in your own room all night.  Either way, I’m spending less time as a punching bag.  Beginning this week, you’re also napping in your own room, and it wasn’t even my suggestion.  The other day you noticed a set of Backyardigans sheets in the linen closet and asked me to put them on your bed.  And like magic, you’ve wanted to sleep in there every naptime since.  Suddenly your room is more than just a storage space for your clothes and toys, and I actually get a little time to myself every day.  And while I may just be spending that time on Facebook, it’s just enough to rejuvenate my spirit for the rest of the day.

The biggest problem with your new napping habits is that your naps are much shorter now that I’m not lying down with you.  We used to sleep half the day away together, but now you wake up from your nap and we still have the vast expanse of the afternoon to get through.  That’s not a big deal when we have a play group or a trip to Costco to look forward to, but on days when we have nothing planned, I panic a little about how to keep you entertained.  There are only so many Dora The Explorer marathons one can take.  Fortunately, you’ve come through for me on this front, too.  I’m not sure when it happened exactly, but lately you’ve ratcheted up your ability to pretend.  For the past couple of weeks, you’ve been inventing new games and demanding my participation, making me “drive” you to the store in my office chair, go shopping for groceries in your toy box, and searching imaginary shopping malls for Santa Claus so we can sit in his lap and ask for toys.  You tell us tales every day, ranging anywhere from “Santa loves grapes” to “Look, a giant!  He’s going to squish us!” You make us dinner in your play kitchen.  You hold conversations with your stuffed animals.  I love this new phase in your childhood, because every day I get to see your imagination at work.  As long as you don’t develop an imaginary friend that turns out to be an evil ghost, I hope this part lasts a while.

Now that you’ve accepted your brother’s presence in the household, you’ve also started wanting to help take care of him.  Mostly, you like to hold him in your lap, and he seems to like it too.  He gazes up at you with only the teensiest bit of concern, and quite a bit of interest.  Sometimes you talk about all the things you plan to teach him, like how to slide, how to swing, and how to jump off of the coffee table and give your mother a heart attack.  I have a feeling he’ll be following you around like a puppy, and I hope you’ll look after him a little.

Like I said, sweetheart, this month has had its ups and downs.  We’ve both yelled a little more and cried a little more, but we’re figuring it out together.  We’ll have to see what I say in another month, but right now I think we’re going to be all right.

Love,
Mommy