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Monday
May212012

Brave

When we first moved Robbie to a toddler bed a couple weeks ago, he started coming out of his room by himself, shuffling out into the dark house, clutching his Thomas the Train blanket and looking for me and Rob. The second night of this new independence, I heard his door slam shut at about 5:30 a.m., and then I heard a timid voice on the landing outside our door saying, “I'm not scared. I'm not scared.”

I rescued him immediately, because this is what my boy says when he's frightened but trying to be brave.

* * *

A couple of weeks ago I also wrapped up my first semester of nursing school. Although I was taking classes last fall, they didn't have impressive-sounding names like Pathophysiology, Pharmacology and Pharmacological Math. And getting a 73 average last fall wouldn't have gotten me kicked out of school. So there's a bit more pressure, is what I'm saying.

But the semester went fine and I was never even close to the do-not-cross line of 74%.

Those of us who started nursing classes in the spring are required to take a six-credit course this summer, as well. It's called Fundamentals of Nursing, or just Fundamentals if you're hip to the jargon like I am. (Do the kids even say “hip” anymore? I have no idea.) The thing about this class is that it's only seven weeks long. Oh, and one more thing: It's the first class where we go into the hospital and care for patients.

I mean, sure, we practiced taking blood pressure and assessing problems last semester, but we did it on each other. This semester we will be doing these things on patients, where it actually matters if we fuck up. There can be no “Oopsie, I made a little error in my calculations and gave my patient 1,000 mg of this powerful drug instead of 10 mg. Can I have a do-over?” (There will be someone with experience watching our every move, but it's still a little overwhelming to think about.)

Fundamentals started today, and the professor said the first thing she wanted to do was ease our anxiety. Then she proceeded to tell us that, by the end of these seven weeks, we will each be caring for a couple patients at a time, all by ourselves.

I'm not scared.

I'm not scared.

Wednesday
Apr182012

Life is so hard when you’re not yet five

Things that have caused my daughter to burst into tears in the past few days:

  • If we get a bounce house for her birthday party, all the party guests might want to use jump in it at the same time and there won’t be any room for her.
  • What if, when we get to the toy store, they don’t have the Barbie she wants and she can’t find anything else in the hundreds of thousands of items they have in stock that could make her happy?
  • In a fit of artistic glee, she traced around her “Fresh Beat Band” poster in her room with a blue marker, staining the paint.  Now we can never make the wall pink again, ever.  (Admittedly, I don’t want her coloring on the wall, but the fact that we still have a half-gallon of pink paint in the living room closet just barely calmed her down.)
  • She knocked down one of the pushpins holding a corner of her “Tangled” poster and couldn’t bear the thought of waiting until morning to fix it.
  • The weekend is still three days away.
  • Robbie always wakes up earlier than her and gets first pick of what we watch on TV.
  • She accidentally drew a line across a wall in a maze in one of her coloring books, and there’s just no way to recover from that.
  • And 52 “what-if” scenarios that require many leaps of preschooler logic to follow.

She’s exhausting.

However, knowing that I used to tell jokes and then cry when people laughed at them, I understand that she comes by this honestly.

So I guess what I’m saying is, I owe my mother a drink.  Or a hundred.

Wednesday
Apr112012

Well

At the very least, I finally have some visible bruises after an injury.  But, I must admit, I didn't really want so many:

Good thing I was playing with my phone while walking down the stairs on Sunday, or else I would have missed all those awesome Facebook posts about what people were having for dinner.  WORTH IT.

Monday
Mar262012

Reminder

It's been a while, so I just wanted to remind you that my kids are freaking cute.  Here you go:

Thursday
Mar152012

Still here

Hey there, how are you?  You probably don’t remember me, as I disappeared for a few months and the internet has a short memory. (Or a long one, if you’re trying to maintain your privacy, I guess.)

Here’s a brief recap of the past few months:

November:

  • Ugh, gotta get ready for finals.

 

December:

  • Ugh, gotta study for the nursing school entrance exam.
  • Christmas!  Yay!  My house has more Thomas the Train stuff than I previously knew existed!
  • Shit, Rob’s contract wasn’t renewed, and now we’re in frantic job-hunting mode again.

 

January:

  • Holy shitsnacks, COBRA is expensive.
  • Robbie turned two!  He’s adorable!
  • Yay!  I got into nursing school!
  • Wait, what?  I only get a week to buy my books and prepare for the start of nursing school?  Um, all right.
  • Do I quit my job for school?  Do I try to do both?  How can I justify quitting my job when Rob isn’t working?  If I don’t quit my job, how can I handle 16 credits of school?  (Nursing school, at that.)  I can’t NOT take this chance to go to school, because getting in is competitive, and they might not accept me the next time around.  ARGH.
  • Time to take a leap of faith and quit the job.  Oh god, oh god, oh god.
  • So, um, Rob’s going to find a job soon, right?  Right?
  • Holy shitsnacks, nursing school is intense.

 

February:

  • Holy shitsnacks, COBRA is expensive.
  • What is this holiday you speak of?  Valentine’s Day?  I don’t … what?  No, I don’t really have time for that.  Do you see this 10-pound pharmacology book I’m reading?
  • So, um, Rob’s going to find a job soon, right?  Right?  What about that one interview?  And that other one?  Please?

 

March:

  • Holy shitsnacks, COBRA is expensive.
  • Nursing school continues to be intense and busy, but a routine has emerged that makes it manageable.
  • Rob got a job offer this week, and starts soon – during my Spring Break, actually, so I get the house to myself.
  • The best part?  His health insurance starts April 1, so we won’t have to pay for another round of COBRA.  Because, hey, did you guys know that health insurance is expensive as fuck?  Because it is.
  • Spring Break is almost here.  I intend to sleep through it.

 

And how are you doing?  Helloooo?  Anyone still out there?