Tuesday
Jul202010
Redirection
Tuesday, July 20, 2010 at 01:46AM
Internet, my house is overrun with toys. It is ridiculous. I cannot walk from my bedroom upstairs to the couch in my living room without stepping on at least three small toys, at least one of which will have a sharp edge and cause me to curse out loud. The situation is becoming critical, and I've come to feel that if something is not done in the near future, Robbie's first full sentence will be, "OW! FUCK! KAYLEE, PICK UP THESE LEGOS." In all caps.
So. I think it's time to unload some of the stuffed animals, super bouncy balls and tiny little plastic things that are the perfect size for blocking a six-month-old's airway. I'm desperate to pack it all up, drop it off at Goodwill and never look back. But Kaylee's getting old enough that I'll feel kind of guilty if I just do it behind her back, so I've been trying to make her think it's her idea to give away a few things. As an added bonus, maybe she'll start thinking about helping other people rather than hoarding ALL THE PRINCESS CRAP IN THE WORLD in her bedroom. On Saturday, I made my opening salvo.
ME: Did you know that some kids don't have any toys at all?
KAYLEE: ... Yeah?
ME: And you have a lot of toys.
KAYLEE: (looking suspicious) Yeah?
ME: Wouldn't it be nice to pick out a few toys to give away to other kids? Kids who are sad because they don't have any toys?
KAYLEE: (starting to panic) I won't have toys anymore?
ME: No, no, we'll just pick five toys that you don't play with anymore and give those away. You can keep all the toys you like.
KAYLEE: (eyes start to well up) I can't play with my toys?
ME: (sighing) Just pick five toys that you don't even like, and we'll give those away. You can still play with all your other toys. All these millions of toys.
KAYLEE: I saw penguins.
ME: Um...
KAYLEE: I saw five penguins at the zoo.
So, yeah. I think I'm just going to sneak into her room all ninja-like, and save the logic stuff for when she's four.
So. I think it's time to unload some of the stuffed animals, super bouncy balls and tiny little plastic things that are the perfect size for blocking a six-month-old's airway. I'm desperate to pack it all up, drop it off at Goodwill and never look back. But Kaylee's getting old enough that I'll feel kind of guilty if I just do it behind her back, so I've been trying to make her think it's her idea to give away a few things. As an added bonus, maybe she'll start thinking about helping other people rather than hoarding ALL THE PRINCESS CRAP IN THE WORLD in her bedroom. On Saturday, I made my opening salvo.
ME: Did you know that some kids don't have any toys at all?
KAYLEE: ... Yeah?
ME: And you have a lot of toys.
KAYLEE: (looking suspicious) Yeah?
ME: Wouldn't it be nice to pick out a few toys to give away to other kids? Kids who are sad because they don't have any toys?
KAYLEE: (starting to panic) I won't have toys anymore?
ME: No, no, we'll just pick five toys that you don't play with anymore and give those away. You can keep all the toys you like.
KAYLEE: (eyes start to well up) I can't play with my toys?
ME: (sighing) Just pick five toys that you don't even like, and we'll give those away. You can still play with all your other toys. All these millions of toys.
KAYLEE: I saw penguins.
ME: Um...
KAYLEE: I saw five penguins at the zoo.
So, yeah. I think I'm just going to sneak into her room all ninja-like, and save the logic stuff for when she's four.
Reader Comments (11)
Yeah, logic doesn't really work when they're 4 either....or 10....sigh...good luck with that!
As long as it doesn't get into our house, I'm willing to help scour your place for unworthy toys and send off to goodwill. I think jamie would puke if I brought homt princess crap for joe. Either that or he would evict my round ass onto the street. And remind me to get you a dustbuster for your birthday. They're great for accidentally sucking up small sharp made in china toys. Xoxo
They have penguins at the zoo?
Your daughter is a genius!
The next time somebody tries to force me into a conversation I don't want to have I am going to say "I saw penguins!"
I told Hope that toys that are made in China are poisonous. It's a good excuse. ;)
Oh yes, she's already lost many, many toys to the vacuum cleaner. Unfortunately, the vacuum's been almost broken many, many times, too. I'd rather just throw 'em in the trash.
Heh. And the teenage years are probably out, too. I guess I'll just have to wait until she's a mom, and then just sit back and laugh when she complains about her kids.
Yep. :) Kaylee likes to watch them eat fish.
Ha! I think I'll adopt that strategy too.
So ... Hope doesn't have any toys anymore?
Hope just needs cyber toys online. At least you don't have to watch where you step.