Kaylee recently discovered the stack of board games I keep in my office closet, and lately she’s been obsessed with “playing” them. That mostly consists of pulling out all the pieces, examining them and putting them back. (Actually, the adult she’s playing with often has to put them back, because she’s usually content to drop them on the floor and move on to the next game.)
The game she’s most fascinated by is a Lord of the Rings chess game I got for Rob a few years ago. I can’t remember why I thought this was a good idea, especially since I don’t even know how to play chess and therefore Rob has no one to play with. But the pieces are kind of cool. And the pieces are what Kaylee likes, too. She likes to get each one out, ask which character it is and then place it carefully on the board. Rob relishes the opportunity to teach his 4-year-old words like “hobbit” and “orc.” I relish the opportunity to fuck with Rob.
Here’s a sampling:
KAYLEE: (holding up a hobbit piece) Who is this?
ME: That’s a midget.
ROB: (shoots me a dirty look) It’s a hobbit, sweetie.
ME: And this is Professor Dumbledore.
ME: This is Sully from Monsters Inc.
ROB: That’s an orc.
ME: And this is Dobby, the house elf.
ROB: That’s Gollum.
ME: This is the pirate Will Turner.
ROB: It’s Legolas.
KAYLEE: That one looks like a girl.
ME: I love you, kiddo.
ROB: (picks up the Arwen figure) Kaylee, this is the wife of Aragorn. She’s a beautiful elf princess named…
ME: Joan of Arc.
ROB: We are so getting a divorce.